Mormon Aversions: To anything with 'tea' in it's name

Dad: "What is that you've made?"
Me: "Lemon & Lime Iced Tea."
Dad: "Well I don't like the sound of that."
Me: "It's not actually tea. It's fruit tea. Made from lemons and limes..."
Dad: "I don't want it in the house. Throw it away."

This is the Whittard Chelsea Flavour Instant Tea. It is amazing.


This is not tea. This is made from an extract of black tea, fruit extract and natural flavourings, and sugar.


Just because it is has the word 'tea' in the title, does not mean it is actual tea. I mean come on. What about 'Tea tree Oil' or 'Rich Tea Biscuits'?! And even if it was, seriously. It's just tea. Arghh.


Seriously Mormons. Sort it out.

Josie Cable

Josie Cable, the sister of a friend.

I'm just completely stunned by her voice. It's amazing!!

High School Romance

How epic is this?!!

About 5-6 years ago now, I started 'going out' with a guy from school. At the time I was a devout Mormon, and after a few months of my parents forcing us apart, we broke up resulting in teenage heartbreak and misery.


Last night we bumped into each other in a pub. Both, very drunkly, decided that it was a great idea to flirt and go back to my family-free house...


Of course, one thing led to another and we slept together. Making him now, Number 8. Strange really seeing as he could have been Number 1, but in 2007...


It's Ok, no feelings there - promise! It was just rather fun to be honest, not awkward at all!


I find the way things turn out in life ever so interesting...

Ding Dong, the Bells aren't gonna chime...

Something that's definitely not
happening to me any time soon...

On the 31st August 1990, my parents got married.


My Mother was 20years, 4 months and 16 days old.


I worked out that I was exactly this age on the 17th November 2011.


And Am I married? Do I have a fiance? Do I even have a Boyfriend? No.


This concerns me.


A friend of mine said to me the other day 'Don't worry, she was Mormon - You're the furthest thing from Mormon anyone could be... Don't worry!' And yes, he was right, however I was brought up expecting to be married by now. My Mormon cousin turned 19 in April and was married in July!


I guess I'm just feeling a bit lonely and down at the moment about the lack of accomplishment in my life.


Watching 'Don't Tell The Bride' on BBC3 is not helping...


Fucksake.

Facepalm

It may be 2:30am GMT but I just found this...


Texts From Bennett - Tumblr


and consequently will be up til dawn.

According to Wikipedia, the word 'facepalm' became an internet meme in 2008 all thanks to Startrek. Well, who'd have known!

Oh the McIrony of It

So I went to McDonald's earlier to get some hot chocolate. Couldn't actually be bothered to actually park and WALK so we just chose the handy 'drive thru' option. (Not only am I about to drink about 2,000 calories, but I'm also not going to burn any of it off by walking to get it. No no.)


We got to the #2.PAY section and this guy was sat there, headset and mcdonalds hat on...

Almost as bad as this guy.
He's laughing while he cuts down
the rainforest to make room for cattle farms,
employs the scum of the earth
and makes children fat.

'umm, sorry hun, you missed the #1.ORDER section didn't you? You're gonna have to go round again I'm afraid.'


So we drive round again like fools and stop at the #1.ORDER section...


McDonalds Guy: 'hello again, what can I get you?'
Me: 'Umm, 2 hot chocolates please' (again? pretty sure we haven't spoken before... we skipped this bit last time.. no?)
McDonalds Guy: 'ok, if you'd like to come to #2.PAY section'


So we drive round and he's just grinning at us...
'hey again, again, haha, that'll be £2.78...(£2.78 for 2 hot chocolates, srsly. But that's another subject)
If you want to drive through to #3.COLLECT section - Don't miss it!' 


I turned round to my sister... 'wait a second.... he just sent us round AGAIN even though he's the one with the headset talking to us out of the #1.ORDER box from #2.PAY section...! And now he's laughing at us! Oh god!'


Oh the irony of a guy that works in mcdonalds laughing at me. To be fair we probably made his day far more enjoyable.


Seriously though.


Can you believe he made us go round again?! Eurgh!

Badabadadaaah...

The Inappropriateness of Men

So I fucked this guy like 14 months ago. He was serriooously drunk and had spent the hour or so beforehand having tantrums and screaming fits outside his ex's house.


It was a sympathy 'this hopefully will help you get over that bitch and make you grow up' shag.
(Please refer back to my previous post about 'Saying Yes by not saying No leads to Whoredom etc' if you just can't understand how this is a reason to fuck someone. 'Cos believe me, it's really not. No. But 'No' was the one thing I didn't say. As ever.)


Anyway, I shagged him in my house - one of only three men that have had this great privilege and the only one of these that has done so while my entire Mormon family were in their beds just walls away... Wrong I know.


It wasn't the best shag ever - possibly due to his drunkeness... But he left pretty much straight away, not that I minded. I seem to remember describing this to friends as 'well he's not the best endowed, and quite a hairy shag tbh'


The next time I saw or really spoke to him again (other than the awkward 'just to make sure you didn't think that was anything more than it was' talk the next day) was christmas eve.


He turned up (Drunk, again) outside my house telling me he really liked me and kissing me, all in the hope of getting in my pants again I'm assuming. I do believe it was snowing and I told him it was cold and to go home...

This was the last I heard from him for a few months, when he called me drunk at 2am telling me he'd like to see me or something. It was nothing I really gave a shit about, hence the lack of commitment to memory.


The next time I saw him was in August. He turned up (Drunk, what a suprise) outside my house. Can't remember what happened then but I'm pretty sure his friend turned up and took him home.

I'm sure he's called me again (drunk) at 2am a few more times too, but the main reason I'm even writing this (at 2:30am...) is due to him just having called me 6 times and texting me, clearly drunk, telling me he wants to see me.


I mean srsly. He only calls when drunk or whatever, when I have seen him he's been extremely needy and to be completely honest, really fucking annoying. Why the hell would I want to get out of my bed, or off my ass and go out in the rain to see him?

No. Totally inappropriate. Literally.

<3 This!

Jenna Marbles

I got another obsession last week.


Jenna Marbles.

Jenna Marbles, real name Jenna Mourey, is a YouTube comedian, Blogger and Go-go dancer. She's not dumb though, she's got a masters in Sports Psychology and Counselling - Wikipedia has a pretty good profile of her.


She's epic. I don't think I can sing her praises any higher. Srsly.


So I thought I'd link my favourite top five videos from her.


1. How to get ready for a Date

2. What Girls Think About During Sex.

3. How to Avoid Talking to People you don't want to talk to

4. When the face doesn't work

5. People I Would Fuck

Not only is she a comic genius, but she's also HOT. I don't usually swing that way, but I'd just like to put it out there that I would hypothetically fuck her. (You'll have to watch number 5 to get that reference...)


Awesome.

Saying 'Yes' by not saying 'No' leads to Whoredom, Financial Worries, and General Life Problems...

I am horrifically, extremely, stupidly unable to say no. To just about anything.


As great as this trait may be for others, it is definitely not good for me. This is mainly because of one thing: People take advantage. If you are willing to give, believe me, others are damn well ready to take - and to keep taking. Constantly. Until you have given all you have to give.


So as I say in the post title - "Saying 'Yes' by not saying 'No' leads to Whoredom, Financial Worries, and General Life Problems.."


Basically I have a major fault. I have serious problems when it comes to saying no, refusing people, letting people down etc. Quite simply, I don't do it. At times I really want to, I very much do not want to do every little thing that others say they want from me. One thing I am rather good at, is not actually saying yes. I pussy foot about acting like I might just maybe be swayed into saying 'Ok, fine, sure I'll come pick you up at 4:30am, I'll lend you £500 I don't actually have, sure I'll just fuck you..". Thing is, the way I think it seems to be is that I'll say 'oh but I need to be up early, I don't think I have much cash and oh not today, I'm not in the mood'. But never a straight, direct 'No'.


Why the bloody fuck can I not just turn around and say 'No, you know what, I don't want to put myself out for you, what shit am I ever gonna get from you?! Seriously. No thanks.'


Thanks to my total lack of definite denial or refusal to bend to every whimsical wish of others, I am skint. First, I lent around £3,000 to my ex-boyfriend. A selfish mother fucker that did nothing but take, take, take. Never ever give. He made me cook, clean, pay for every little thing, and that's not even getting started on the sex! That was all one way too!


So now to the claim that 'not saying no' leads to harlotry. Seriously, it does. Granted I'm a total whore anyway, but the amount of guys I've fucked simply because I couldn't say no? That's at least 4 of the 7, if not more! And the rest of the guys that I've shagged more than once I haven't necessarily been totally up for it every single time. But can I say no? No. I can not.


Let me just explain the actual background as to why I'm having this slight rant. Last night, I saw my ex-boyfriend - yeah, the one that's a total sponge. He basically told me he wanted me to move in with him in Cheltenham, that he wanted to take me on a date, and then proceeded with kissing me and sticking his hands down my pants. I can't say I didn't enjoy it, but I can't say it was my first choice of an evening's activities. Personally, I would have rather gone to see the guy that has been my fuck buddy for over 17 months now. I hadn't seen him for 6 weeks and he wanted to see me. (N.B. Fuck buddy & Ex-BF HATE each other) I told the fuck buddy I was at a friend's while out with the ex-boyf. So I got home at around 11pm, pretty much just changed, and went straight back out to see the fuck buddy, who banged me so hard I have been aching all day.


Totally worth being a whore for that, however, why could I not have just said no to the ex-boyf and not gone to see him? But seen the guy I wanted to see instead?


Sure my fuck buddy is totally using me for sex. But it was good. So fuck it.


However, now I have general life problems. I still care about my ex-boyfriend - as a friend. He's got a lot going for him, just got himself a great job and a new car; he is still an arse though, I am pretty certain of that. But the sex is way too good with the fuck buddy, although he has no evident career path or money. I'm not sure we'd fit together as a couple, but myself and him are total opposites. He is totally laid back and calm, whilst I worry and get stressed out. Maybe that makes us work? But I only ever see him for sex - so I have no way of telling if we'd work in a normal environment!


Maybe neither of them are right for me? But then, who is?


Oh dear lord, Help!


Shit.

C'est Moi

Sexy Time & an interruption by the Po-Po

Thought I'd interrupt my weeks blogging drought by posting a rather amusing story from last night...


So there I was, midnight and I'm sat in the entrance of a field on a lane, in a car with my sex friend. Like you do.


'Take off your clothes slowly, it'll be sexier'


Thank Christ I did go slow because no sooner than I'd stripped down to my underwear, a car drove past...


Not only did they decide to casually drive past, but they also thought they'd stop, and shine a torch into the car.

- Remember here, that I'm sat in nothing but knickers and a bra!

I look up and out of the window, and see the fluorescent stripes of a police car.

Fucking brilliant.

Naturally I kinda shit myself. He doesn't though, he's totally calm. But then, it's alright for him, he's still fully clothed and it's not like it's his car!

The police's next choice: put on their flashing blue lights. 

I must have pulled on my jeans in about 3 seconds. My fuck buddy's just sat there telling me that they won't do anything, 'chill out, don't worry, they'll probably just go away in a minute...'


To be fair, he was right and after what felt like five minutes, they finally drove off down the lane.


And here ends the story. I was properly paranoid that they'd come back though, so we drove off and found a more concealed (from the road) place to have sexy time... (And it was good)

Worlds Apart

If you've been reading my previous posts you'll know that my little brother was waiting to find out where he was going to be sent on his religious mission for two years. We got the letter on Wednesday telling us he was being 'called to serve' in the Philippines, Angeles Mission. He leaves at the end of September.


Not long.


For those who have no idea where that is... Google Map - Angeles City, Philippines


I'm sure he'll have a fabulous time, but I can't help being sad about it. I'm gonna really miss him - surprising really as it's not as though we spend a huge amount of time together. But then, I can't call or see him at all for two whole years - a pretty long time to be honest.


He's going to one of the most volcaneous areas on the planet. Which I suppose is a little bit concerning.


He'll be right on the Equator, so no doubt he'll come back with an amazing tan - or skin cancer. Haha!


He also gets to learn and speak 'Tagalog' - I googled this, and it's basically the Austronesian language, Filipino. Very similar to Spanish to be honest.


I'll miss him.


But I've got 3 months yet. I don't know if it's better to make a point of spending time with him before he goes, or if that will make it worse because then I'll miss his company.


Either way, I'll miss him.

Angel Wickes Green

I've taken a long time to write this, mainly because I was trying to think of the right words.


A friend of mine lost her baby on the 3rd June 2011. It's an extremely tragic time for her and the family, I hope they find strength and comfort in the people whose thoughts are with them right now.


Ellen has created a Donation page In Memory of her little girl. Donations will be going to Sands, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity. She has already beaten her original target of £500 in just one day and has now raised it to £1000.


Ellen has decided she is also going to do a Sponsored Sky Dive, and the Bath half marathon all in memory of her little girl.


Please click here to donate to her cause - Just Giving Donation Page


I'm also going to be running a charity ball possibly this year In Memory of Angel, and In Aid of the Sands Charity. Hopefully I can put something worthy together!

A House is a Machine for Living in - Le Corbusier

Just found the most amazing house-buying programme.


Young, Rich & House Hunting


Wow.


Seriously I think I'd do just about anything to live somewhere worth that much! I need to get marrying one of these rich men! Where are these men?! Where!!


Quote of the programme: "I wouldn't want to live this far out. [Hammersmith rather than Chelsea] I may as well live in Bristol!"

Finding Nemo

'A father-son underwater adventure 

featuring Nemo, a boy clownfish, 

stolen from his coral reef home. His 

timid father must then travel to 

Sydney and search Sydney Harbour

to find Nemo.' - IMDb.com

One of my very favourite movies.


Mainly because it's just so calm and seriously relieves stress.


For those who have not yet seen 'Finding Nemo' (seriously wtf are you doing with your life?!)



I must have watched this film literally about a thousand times in the past 8 years.


I just love the picture. It's incredibly well done, Thanks Pixar for teaming up with Disney began loosing their touch around 2000, since then their greatest achievements have definitely been thanks to Pixar!!

I actually have the cuddly toy version
of Squirt here. It talks and everything!!

I recently bought the soundtrack to the movie and love it. It's composed by Thomas Newman - turns he's also done about 87 movie soundtracks, including Wall-E (a lot of similarities in the music in that and Finding Nemo), Little Women, Erin Brockovich, Green Mile, Pay It Forward, and The Shawshank Redemption - All of which are favourites of mine.


Though Wiki tells me that Thomas Newman lost many awards for his films because something that had a better soundtrack happened to be out at the same time - For example Hans Zimmer's 'The Lion King', or Howard Shore's 'The Lord of the Rings'.

Watching the Grass Grow...

So I have recently bought myself Season 4 of the TV series 'Weeds'. 

When I buy a season of a TV drama, I tend to re-watch the first few seasons all over again to get back into it. This is what I've been doing for the past 3 days...


The story has definitely gone downhill this season. It's basically moved on from just weed dealing to people trafficking.


Only really great thing about this season is Hunter Parrish (Silus Botwin) - He's all grown up now and seems to be topless rather a lot! Ohh yeeeahh :P


Phwoooarrr!


Possibly I've been single a little bit too long... 

Garden of Eden

Ingredients:

50ml Gordon's gin

10ml bottlegreen Elderflower Cordial

10ml lime juice

6 torn mint leaves

60ml cloudy apple juice

Glass: Highball

Method:

Shake all ingredients with ice

Strain into ice-filled highball glass

Garnish with apple skin, slice & mint sprig

Recipe taken from Bottle Green Drinks

So this is my new favourite cocktail! I had it at the 'Bristol Ram' on Park Street, Bristol last night, although I had it without the mint, as I'm really not a fan of that particular herb. 

Prior to 'The Garden of Eden', my favourite cocktail was the cranberry, quantro & vodka filled Cosmopolitan

Motivational Ramblings of a Stranger

Stranger: I am writing this for you. I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge.It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.You should be happy. You are gorgeous. I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose.But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means? You are alive.

Sex on the Beach

“Don't grow up too quickly, lest you forget how much you love the beach.” - Michelle Held

An ironic statement seeing as when I was younger, I didn't really like the beach much. I have major hate for sand. I'm all good walking on it or whatever, but it gets EVERYWHERE. Like in your shoes and clothes and food and car. Literally EVERYWHERE.


Well the reason for this blog, is that I'm majorly craving beach time due to the boiling hot sunshine in England right now. A spontaneous beach trip is definitely on the agenda atm!

I totally need to get myself a decent swim suit though, the most difficult challenge of the season...


Not only do you get stupid amount of choice - there's what like, bikinis, tankinis, one pieces, two-pieces, swim dresses, swim shorts etc etc - but then it's gotta fit you, and suit you, and not ride up, or down, and be the right colour and design, and have good straps, not be too short, or overly revealing... it's just a total nightmare!

Which brings me onto Sex...

Sex on the Beach.

So I think the beach is just about one of the only places I haven't done it!


Just found a rather amusing article...
The Mirror's 'Sex on the Beach' - How to


I can't get over the 'Getting Together' - a.k.a. Dogging - section in this article. Brilliant!

Most importantly for getting in the summer mood is of course...


The Cocktail.


1 x Peach Snapps
2 x Vodka
2 x Orange Juice
2 x Cranberry Juice






Gotta love the Summer Tunes!

Called To Serve...

So, my 18 year old brother just send off his Mormon mission papers. This means that some time this week he should be receiving his 'Mission Call' - the letter requesting him to serve as a mormon missionary somewhere in the world for two years.


I don't know quite how I feel about my little brother disappearing off for two whole years somewhere - potentially just across the country, yet his family and friends are unable to visit, or call (except on mother's day and christmas).


I suppose I'd rather he went further away to be honest, at least then it's not like I could just pop to Scotland (where my cousin currently is on his mission) to see him.


I suppose there's only a few days before we all find out...

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater...

"More than one third of the approximately 205 million pregnancies that occur each year worldwide are unintended and about 20% of them end in induced abortion." - Wikipedia

So there I was on Sunday, sitting in a hospital while my best friend was going through the traumatic abortion experience.


Obviously this is a rather controversial topic so I can understand if people choose to get quite passionate over this... 


Anyway, back to my best friend. We went together to the 'Central Health Clinic' in town where she went in for a scan, some blood and urine tests and a consultation to decide if abortion was right for her. Turned out she was only 6 weeks pregnant (we originally were told 11, which was quite a lot more distressing to think about). She opted for the 'Early Medical Abortion' - You basically take a tablet, wait a while in the clinic, then go home. A couple of days later, you are given some 'vaginal pessaries' which cause the womb to contract and the pregnancy to be 'expelled'. This option is pretty much just like a miscarriage, other than that it's induced.


It's not pleasant, not gonna lie. They get you to go to the loo in a cardboard container (looks a bit like an inside out cowboy hat, haha) but it basically all comes out. Pretty graphic. I went to the loo myself at one point and someone had left one of these containers in there. Not nice. Probably wouldn't have been able to cope looking at it if I hadn't seen it all before, not that I've been through abortion, but at the age of 17 I did have a miscarriage under 10 weeks. That was definitely more horrible though I think, I didn't get pain killers or hospital conditions - I just sat at home in pain :(


Equally as distressing is typing 'abortion' into Google Images. Seriously. Don't do it!


I'm assuming due to the lack of NHS funding and overcrowding in these places was the reason for 4 beds in one room separated by a curtain. You can hear everything that's going on in all the other beds, it's not really too nice hearing another woman telling her partner or the nurse about what's being 'expelled' into the cardboard cowboy hats... Although probably the most distressing part was hearing a 15yr old girl sobbing.


Most amusing thing of the day was definitely walking into the waiting area and seeing 'The Book of Mormon' sat there on the book shelf... Oh the irony of it!

Barack Obama - The first 'Pro-Abortion' US President

I can't say I totally agree with aborting a pregnancy. In fact, I don't agree with it at all. However, I feel like if it's in the best interest of the potential mother, then it should be ok. My friend was doing it because she's in her 2nd year of Uni and couldn't financially support a child at this time in her life. The 15 year old, well, she's 15. I just worry that it would emotionally mess up a person, both in the short and long terms, knowing that they've basically killed their own child.

American Ignorance

The following is a random conversation I had on Omegle with an american from Utah.

WARNING: This conversation is totally shocking due to this kids total ignorance of the World and general life. Seriously funny.


Stranger: Hey I'm totally from Utah, I'm Awesome because us Salt Lakers emit Awesomeness right!? XD
You: haha are you really?
You: i'm from the uk, bristol
Stranger: OMG Like totally! I Love Utah also, you should seriously be Utahnized!
Stranger: And OMG I've been to New Britain Conneticut!
Stranger: Totally Awesome! XD
You: haha if you're from utah are you mormon?
Stranger: Haha No lol, I'm not Religious, by my dad Hunts Buffalos :P
Stranger: Its Awesome!
Stranger: Its like, We are a great big Emission of Awesomeness! You have to come here! XD
You: haha
You: i got an offer like that before but from a mormon
Stranger: OMG No Way!!! Its like, you only get them here, but OMG My cousin lives in Michigan and hes like, OMG I don't like them because he saw one in Detroit once right?! XD
Stranger: Its just like, How do you get them in Detroit once right?! I was like... ARE YOU KIDDING OH EM GEE!!!
Stranger: XD
You: half my family are mormon...
You: so pretty sure you dont just get them in utah!
Stranger: OMG Are you kidding!!
You: no!
Stranger: OMG Where else?! Like, in Idaho, thats where Potatoes come from!!!
You: like in the uk, where I'm from, and across most of the world!?
Stranger: OMG New Britain is totally Awesome, my Grans been there she was like, she met this guy, and asked him if he considers himself like New British, he was like, totally dude! XD
You: new britain isn't britain though? haha
You: england is where i'm from, that's real britain...
Stranger: Oh My God New England emits Awesomeness! I love NY, Been to NYC everybody has an Awesome Rating of like, 10/10 right!! And oh do you mean like, Euro England, where like, The queen lives?! OMG Do you know the Queen?! XD
You: Yes, like euro england
You: Yes, like where the queen lives
You: i know of the queen yeah, not personally though
Stranger: OMG I bet shes like, I'm soo Awesome everyone bow to my Awesomeness Because I have an Awesome Accent!!!
You: Haha, i have that accent!
Stranger: OMG That must be like, your speech must be a total 100% Emission of Awesomeness!!! XD Love Brit Accents, they are just like... Totally Oh Em Gee because like my Bro met one Brit Guy once right, he was like "Hello" And he was like, OMG Your English that must be a great Awesome Feeling right!! XD
You: yeah being british is pretty cool
You: Our prince/future King just got married. That was lots of fun. We had street parties and stuff.
Stranger: OMG And your like totally Cornwall right, thats like totally, CornSOME!!!! OMG!
You: cornwall? No i'm not from cornwall
Stranger: Thats Bristol Accent right?!
Stranger: Cornwall XD
You: haha no, cornwall is further south
Stranger: But OMG Your Rivals Are like Plymouth Panthers right?! XD And Oh XD
You: but i'm from london originally, and i sound normal british, like the queen or whatever, not bristolian
Stranger: OMG London is like, totally Awesome, I've been to that Kent Suburbs place called Greenwich!!! Everyone is so like, Greenwich!!! LOL AWESOMENESS ALERT!! XD
You: haha do you say it 'green' 'which'? because it's actually pronounced 'gren-itch'
Stranger: OMG Its totally like Green Which!!
You: hahahahha that's amazing
Stranger: I wish like, UK was a US State, you guys should be, you speak English like us, and you could be American right! How Awesome would that be, We'd have a New England and an Old England haha AWESOME! XD
You: but you came 2nd in history, england came first
Stranger: 2nd?! OMG Like in Soccer World cup right?! XD
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-ywBPdkCGk - that is what bristolians sound like - justin lee collins
You: no no, like in history. America the country wasn't founded until like the 1700's, but england has been around much longer
Stranger: OMG Really?! I thought like, We Americans were like Roaming in North America being Awesome or whatever haha XD And you guys came over some time in like 1400 and like, totally like took over and made some kind of colony right!? Then we like fought back right?! And like, didn't you guys invent a York place from NYC! XD
You: haha no no that's not what happened. English and spanish people etc came over from the uk and spain and colonised in america - and made 'America'
You: the 'americans' that were roaming are the native americans, aka the red indians, most of them have died out tho
Stranger: OMG Indians are actually Americans, I thought like we were like the real Americans XD
You: so americans all used to be from england or spain or wherever
You: not actual indians from india! oh dear!
Stranger: OMG Do you mean like those Feather headed people in Tribes, they emit Awesomeness But I don't ever see any! XD
Stranger: XD
You: yeah the people with feather hats in tribes - they dont really exist anymore
You: but if you trace your family history - your ancestors are like from europe probably, or africa if you're black, but if you're from utah you're probably more likely to be white, right?
Stranger: OMG Its so sad, why would Spanish people do that, and us Americans obviously saw that like Atrocity right?! And we were like, "RIGHT, FOR THAT REASON WE'RE NOT GONNA SPEAK SPANISH, WE'RE GONNA SPEAK AMERICAN ENGLISH YOU SPANISH UNAWESOME PEOPLE" XD!! And OMG My Family are European, but like doesn't that mean Like, They could be like English or Swedish or German or like New Zealand or Russian right?! XD
You: but there's loads of spanish speaking places in the US?! but that's more from south america, not spain
You: and yeah, your ancesters could be like from england or sweden or germany yeah
Stranger: OMG They speak Spanish somewhere in Alabama OMG! Awesome!
You: new zealand isn't europe
Stranger: Really?! XD LOL
You: they speak spanish in texas a bit
You: new zealand is next to australia
Stranger: Oh Em Gee I thought they totally all spoke American English because like, My Bro went there also and was like, OMG You live in a trailer right?! And yeah Australia is Europe isn't it?! LOL
You: no australia isnt europe
Stranger: OMG But they speak English!
You: Yes, because they were english a long long time ago
You: like america, the english went over there and colonised
Stranger: OMG I thought like Australia was a part of Britain because like I saw there flag and I was like, right you are totally English!
Stranger: OMG
You: they had tribes of indigenous people in australia first
Stranger: OMG Were they Red people as well, like Red Indian people XD
You: but yeah, we colonised australia - it was part of the british empire in the 1900's
You: kinda, but not actual red people...
You: omg, you're actually the funniest american ever
Stranger: Haha Thanks XD
Stranger: OMG Do you like, Emit Awesomeness wherever you go, I bet you do, you talk like on here like a Total Missourian right?! Because you're like totally 100% Awesome rating is off the like, top floor! And I'm 18 and I am AWESOME XD
You: oh cool, i'm 19
Stranger: I love that Soccer game you all PLAY Over in Britain UK Is amazing!
Stranger: And wait a minute
You: what? football?
Stranger: Do you like that Chelsea Blue Socks team!
You: haha no
Stranger: Don't tell me you like those Manchester Blue Devils, I like Man Reds1
You: man united are the red ones?
Stranger: And I watch that 2nd League thing, I love that Orange Timeberwolf team!
You: man city are the blue ones?
Stranger: OH XD
Stranger: Orange Timberwolves are Awesome! XD That Premier team, they're like OMG Awesome! WolfHampton Orange Timberwolves or Something
Stranger: Awesomeness Team!
You: wolverhampton?!
Stranger: OMG Ya!
Stranger: Like Orange Timeberwolves I call them
Stranger: they are Awesome!
You: lmao you are hilarious
Stranger: I also love that Queens Park Panthers team!
Stranger: They rock Awesomeness!
You: queens park rangers?
Stranger: OMG Thats it!
Stranger: But I also Support that Stoke Red Stripers!
You: stoke on trent?
Stranger: OMG They are like that Red striped team in the top League right?!
Stranger: Stoke Reds!
Stranger: They emit Awesomeness!
Stranger: And OMG
Stranger: I also love Portsmouthampton Pirate team or Whatever they are!
Stranger: Awesome! XD
You: portsmouth
You: or southampton?
Stranger: OMG Its that Blue team with the Star, Portsmouth Stars right!
Stranger: XD
Stranger: And Watfordshire Wasps!
Stranger: Awesome!
Stranger: OMG I actually know Some Soccer club players1
Stranger: OMG Wait Ill tell you some!
You: football... ok lol
Stranger: That guy, called Horsefield Guy hes Awesome! My Bro Told me about him!
Stranger: OMG And I've heard of a Goalsaving position guy called Jersey Dude or something, he should be Americanized and call NEW JERSEY DUDE RIGHT! xd
You: Geoff Horsfield?
Stranger: OMG Hes Awesome Striking Position!
Stranger: What do you think of Jersey Dude?!
Stranger: And should he be called New Jersey Dude and play for USA XD
You: and jerzy dudek? hah
Stranger: OMg Thats it!
Stranger: OMG And Andrew Stubbs!
Stranger: Hes Awesome, better than that Brazillian Perles!
Stranger: And OMG Canadian Mark Pooming!



I'm not exactly sure what to say about this. Other than that the stereotype of many american's appears to be true...